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Productivity? Are you SERIOUS? (A selection of Time Management Humor)

I had an interview lined up with someone who wanted a lighthearted spin on productivity and GTD. The interview didn't work out (ironically the host was a no-show. twice), but I'd like to share some of the material I whipped up. I left a few unfinished (look for "??"). Got any to share?


(Hey - Amazon has a Time management - Humor / Entertainment category!)

Top 10 clinical causes of productivity-related ambulance calls

  • Thumb crushed in filing cabinet
  • Labeler-loss induced panic
  • Over-capture syndrome
  • Internet down

15 topics not covered by GTD blogs


Q: Which came first, the __ or the __?


Three GTD belts you haven't yet earned:

  • Puce (Never heard of GTD)
  • Heliotrope (Mind like oatmeal)
  • Chartreuse (You've reached the ultimate empty mind. You see all, know all, and can focus on any topic like a laser as long as you like. You're also in a hospital for the "gifted.")

Due to the economy, David Allen has laid off the 40,000 and 50,000 foot levels.

How to use a labeler to survive a cougar attack

  • Print "LAY DOWN" and - quickly, now - flash it in his eyes
  • Print some blank tape and cover its teeth (only if using plastic tape)
  • Print "Not Meat" and stick it on your forehead
  • Throw and run

Q: What's the one action you'll never see on a GTD'ers list?

"Drop GTD"

Firefox productivity add ons you NEED to get

(Also check out Top 11 Worst Firefox Extensions.)

Q: How is President Obama getting things done?


Four ways to say "no"

  • No.
  • No!
  • No?
  • Noooooooo

Q: How many GTD bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?

43. One to hold the ladder and 42 to argue whether it's an action or a project.

12 Wild Things People Are Visualizing, In Addition To "Wild Success"

(In case you missed it here.)

  1. type and mutant hemoglobin proteins
  2. success (OK, I included anyway, despite the title)
  3. shapes
  4. Saracenic tribes adorned in flowing colored togas
  5. bastards
  6. sexual fantasies
  7. gesticulations
  8. geometry of invariant sets
  9. urban adventure
  10. rush of kayaking off a 100-foot waterfall
  11. beaver
  12. sensations of the rainforest
  13. beauty of the rainforest

Q: Why did the GTD blogger cross the road?

He didn't. He was too busy trying out a new fountain pen and $23 notebook.

GTD-ers do it...

(Inspired by this post.)

  • ... @Bed [dirjy]
  • ... in the office
  • ... with 100% focus
  • ... on schedule
  • ... @anywhere
  • ... in two minutes or less [Pascal Venier]
  • ... on the runway, at 10,000', ...

Q: What's more irritating than someone who's just adopted GTD?


Top 10 things people are Getting, in addition to 'Things Done'

(In case you missed it here.)

  • pregnant
  • a passport
  • married (NB: *after* pregnant! Leaving the country first?)
  • "to know you" questions:

    • DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? [yes, they're in a jar on my dresser]

  • away with murder
  • over a break up
  • rid of fleas
  • away with murder (lots of murder!)
  • out of debt
  • pregnant tips (like beef tips?)
  • rid of mice

Q: If a GTD-er file falls in a forest and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?


Reader Comments (6)

Especially the comments about How to Survive a Cougar attack! :)

April 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Ling

Much obliged.

April 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermatthewcornell

Q: How is President Obama getting things done?

He was doing ok until he gave his IPOD to the Queen, with all his GTD tasks.

Q: If a GTD-er file falls in a forest and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?

Just the sound of her writing down the next action steps on how to get back up.

Q: Why did the GTD blogger cross the road?

To buy more manila folders

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMark Hammersley


April 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermatthewcornell

and the point of these riddles are to make your mind like water?

May 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPen N Paper

Thanks for stopping by, Daryl. 1. to laugh. 2. to get you thinking 3. to treat the field less seriously. Did it work? :-)

May 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermatthewcornell

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