Anyone using Getting To Yes for Negotiations?

Negotiation: A discussion intended to produce an agreement

When my mom died I inherited a modest house in a small Midwestern town, which I've put on the market. We have a buyer and the contract's been signed, but up pops an abutting neighbor who says some landscaping is on his property. Ugh! Naturally I'd like to resolve this quickly and fairly. Realizing my negotiating skills are nil (hey, I'm good at identifying and rectifying personality flaws ;-) I decided to read the classic book on negotiating, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Fortunately it was on my candidates bookshelf [1] and was able to skim it [2] for the main ideas [3].

I'm curious...

• Do you have experience using the method?



• In which situations did you apply it?



• What was your experience like?



• How'd it turn out?



• Any tips for newbies?

So far I'm excited about trying it, and I'm working to keep it light via engaging my curiosity. I'm in the middle (you can follow the story on Edison), but, regardless of the outcome, the ideas have shifted my thinking, which is a gift. Happy negotiating!

References

• [1] See A Reading Workflow Based On Leveen's "Little Guide".



• [2] See How To Read A Lot Of Books In A Short Time for techniques, including great ones in the extensive comments.



• 
  [3] For GTY resources, start with the Wikipedia entry, this summary, or Luciano Passuello's mindmap. My take-away was the method's process. From Core Negotiation Concepts: GTY is a method centered around four considerations (PIOC):
  
  
  
  
  • People: Separate people from the problem
  
  
  
  • Interests: Focus on interests, not positions (interests always underlie positions)
  
  
  
  • Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do
  
  
  
  • Criteria: Insist that the result be based on objective standards
  
  
  
  

Anyone using Disqus for blog comments?

Anyone using Disqus for blog comments?

I'm getting flooded with comment spam (thousands) and my amateur attempts to combat it have so far failed. One possibility a reader pointed out (in addition to Mollom and Akismet) is the DISQUS Comment System. It is not only supposed to filter comment spam, but supports centralized commenting, searching [1], deleting, etc.

Any experiences you'd like to share, either as a blogger or commenter on other blogs? I'd be much obliged!

(P.S. I've changed the comment preview setting back to being optional, and CAPTCHA back to math. They weren't helping, best I can tell.)

References

• [1] Happily, this would solve reader jp in MD's and others' desires to find and search for all her comments.
  

The Word is "Waste"

To add insult to injury (dead moms, for chrissakes!), someone has spammed [1] the heck out of my blog, requiring hours of wasted effort on my part to delete thousands of comments. I haven't been this angry in a long, long time, so I thought I'd counteract with a "Word is" [2] post on waste. (Side note: I'm playing with comment settings to help stop the spam. Right now I've switched from math to image captcha, and required comment previews. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.) Civilization will prevail over [Internet] anarchy!

• Energy: How about a national mandate to disable the compressors in office water fountains? I'm curious how the idea of chilled water became the norm. I think room temperature is fine! I wonder how much energy we'd save... (Any of my engineer readers want to do a rough estimate?) Bonus: The local environment would be quieter! (Related: Check out the fascinating History of Drinking Fountains.)



• Knowing When it's Waste: When trying something new [3], it's sometimes hard to know when you're wasting effort. After all, if you knew where to focus it wouldn't be an experiment (see You Know You're Experimenting When...). In addition to personal development, this includes being handed a new assignment, a entire second role (due to the economy), or, worse, losing your job. To help prevent waste, know why you're doing an activity, set a timeline for evaluation, set it up to invest as little effort as possible, and choose wisely. (Side note: In building my consulting practice I've tried a ton of things to get business. One of those is networking, naturally, and gifts. A good percentage of these have not panned out, mostly due to not making ideal choices of who I talked to.)



• Email folders: Advice from Death by Information Overload [4]: "Don't waste time sorting messages into folders; inbox search engines make that unnecessary. (One possible exception: Create an 'urgent action' folder - but don't forget to check it.)"



• Sins: As a card-carrying atheist (actually, not yet), I list waste as one of The Sins. Others? Hmm. How about hurting others, harming the environment, not taking responsibility, and (generally speaking) irrational behavior? (For time management sins, check out Rodger's 10 Deadly Sins of Time Management... and How to Avoid Them (part 1).)



• Productivity: Not having a system, clearly, wastes mental effort. Worse yet, it's unnecessary. For the simplest starting point, check out The World's Simplest Productivity Method, With Bonus Mini-Processing Examples.



• Leaving well enough alone. Most of the time I've ignored this advice I've regretted it. Has this sleeping dog ever bitten you?



• Networking: I've found that lectures and events with no explicit mingling time are a waste. I'm not talking about those explicit events, but places of genuine interest which are attended by people you genuinely want to help. Of course gaining the information talked about is important, but from a consulting perspective it better be darn important to warrant the effort, if significant.



• Effort vs. Results: As I find the 2x2 format irresistible, how about this classic? The 1,0 cell (high effort, low results) is a fine definition of waste, no?



• Meetings: What are your favorite waste-elimination opportunities around meetings? How about inviting only the right people, having an agenda, and sending necessary information beforehand? Find more good tips at To Meet Or Not To Meet.



• Personal Conservation: "If a man skimps himself through all the best years of his life in order to provide for his old age, has he conserved his resources, or has he wasted them?" (From Today and Tomorrow, Henry Ford's 1926 Classic.)



• Opportunities: "Rule one: Never allow a crisis to go to waste. [They are] opportunities to do big things." -- Rahm Emanuel, the White House Chief of Staff. (From Obama Weighs Quick Undoing of Bush Policy.) (Note: In my official capacity of "jackass," semi-defined in How To Approach Solving Procrastination, I strongly believe important opportunities offered by the financial crisis sadly have been wasted. More at A Crisis Is a Terrible Thing to Waste and Simon Johnson's comments at Bill Moyers Journal. Respectful comments welcome.)

References

• [1] I found interesting these articles on the topic: Wired 12.03: The (Evil) Genius of Comment Spammers and Six Apart Guide to Combatting Comment Spam.



• [2] Previous words: open, stick*, and law.



• [3] New experiment activity at Edison includes Try a new batch of couverture chocolate for drinking, Work, Relationship, Fun Balance, Using Positive Affirmations to Improve My Attitude, Dress better in public, Apply Getting to Yes to a property boundary problem, and Lose 20 pounds in one month (2nd Experiment). Well done, folks!



• [4] Find a summary at 10 Tips for Managing Email Overload. The whole issue was, apparently, uploaded to HBR September 2009.

Not Doing Rudux: Check Out the Latest Success Magazine

Just a quick note that you might enjoy the new Success Magazine article The Productivity Dilemma: To Do or Not to Do?. The author and I had a great time talking about the idea of not doing, including Jim Collins' idea of a Stop Doing list (from Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't). Related: Do, Don't Do, Stop Doing.

Following are some other stories in their business category that you might like. Cheers!

• David Allen: Tips on Time Management
  
• Time = Money | 2010-01-04
  
• Profiles in Greatness: Benjamin Franklin | 2010-01-03
  
• 1-on-1: Achieve Your Goals
  
• I Have Time
  
• Always Running Late
  
• 1-on-1: Stay Focused
  
• David Allen: It's Not About Time
  

Another Mother Dies, Plus a 2005 Blog Round-Up

In what feels right on the heels of my own mom's death, my wife's mother passed away this weekend. I hope you'll forgive the lately chaotic posting frequency and content of mine (I continue to experiment with these). On top of this is a series of workshops (always fun) which have required some juggling to keep in place. As a former musician and performer, the show must go on! (Well, as much as possible :-)

So allow me to punt and share some older posts you may not have read. If they are still with you, enjoy your moms!

• On The Power Of Saying "Thank You"
  
• Transitions: A Secret Ingredient To Getting Things Done?
  
• What's Your Maximum Response Time?
  
• Debbie Downer And The Six Thinking Hats
  
• "Interesting, But Not Useful," Or Does It Pass The Scribble Test?
  
• Pickle Jars, Text Files, And Creative Idea Capture
  
• Use The STING Method To Stop Procrastinating
  
• On Saying Yes - 3 Possibilities: Always Yes, Always No, Or Only When You Really Want To
  
• Handling Worries: Keep A List, Schedule Them, And Have A Worry Place
  
• E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome) - Dealing Appropriately With "cringe" Inbox Items
  
• Organizing Electronic Documents GTD-Style?
  
• Temporal Binoculars